why are people sleeping on batlantern? wake up!! both are dramatic bitches and is literally the enemies-to-lovers trope!!!!! they can be having rough hate sex right now but y’all are just ignoring it! what a disgrace
Tag: batlantern
the only reason we don’t have a version of the ‘what’s the height of stupidity’ meme where batman immed responds with “6’2” is bc bruce knows he is the same height as hal jordan
Batlantern 20?
(Oh anon… You are in for one hell of a ride, because I don’t think I can write BatLantern for shit, but here it goes!)
20. things you said that i wasn’t meant to hear
Hal must have been in bad shape because he could smell the overuse of disinfectant. He had to be in the hospital. Someone really needed to write better reports on their villains because the last one was able to put him through several walls without even trying. Jesus Christ, did that guy use his head as a sledgehammer or something?
Then he heard someone enter the room and he realized that he hadn’t opened his eyes yet, and figured he shouldn’t for some odd reason. Whoever it was, they made their way to the hospital bed and sighed rather audibly. That had to be Bruce. Hal had a knack for recognizing the different grunts and illegible sounds that the Batman made.
And then he felt a hand on his.
Okay, so maybe it wasn’t Bruce.
“You idiot.”
No that was defiantly Bruce.
“You shouldn’t have played arrogant hero.”
Uh yeah, he did. Who else was gonna push that stubborn ass out of the way from a full frontal attack? The rest of the League wouldn’t let him down otherwise.
“You should have followed orders. I had a plan.”
Did that plan involve being splattered against a brick wall, ‘cause it sure looked like a brilliant plan to Hal. Yep, a fucking plus there, Bruce! Hal felt Bruce tighten his grip on his hand.
“You… you should be awake by now.” He sounded less angry now.
Wait, how long had he been out?
“Hal… wake up… Please.”
Well, that was… unexpected. Did the Batman just say, “please”? Was that a literal thing that could happen? He wasn’t on some medically induced dream, was he?
Hal finally opened his eyes and saw Bruce with his head bent forward and eyes scrunched up closed, and that… that looked pretty real and sincere to him. Hal’s hand was still encased by Bruce’s and… it felt nice actually.
“Hey…” he croaked. Damn, he could really use some water, he wanted to be suave here. Bruce’s head shot up and looked at Hal with actual surprise on his face. Hal wondered if today was just one of those impossible days. “You should say ‘please’ more often.”
Hal Jordan: You’re really campaigning for asshole of the year, aren’t you?
Bruce Wayne: As defending champion, are you nervous?
look I feel like hal and bruce deserve to fuck in the batmobile
– lantern’s in town to help batman with a case or to discuss some corps business, and he ends up needing to hitch a ride back to the batcave for Plot Reasons™
– i’m gonna have to go with established hb for this, where they’ve just gotten in the car after finishing up at this warehouse. and maybe hal’s been off-planet for a while and just got back and came straight here bc he wanted to give smth to bruce for whatever they’re working on and not have to worry about it later
– except bruce is out on patrol and dealing with some group, so hal just hangs out waiting, lowkey pitching in a bit and mostly just continuously throwing out little comments, because really, bats, was that really necessary, i’m gonna have to give you a 7 on execution there—
– anyways then it’s done, and hal’s been busy for weeks and he’s exhausted so he just follows bruce into the batmobile. hal already sent Bruce the data/etc and he’s just leaning back as bruce shuts the door and settles in, but then Things Happen and hal’s bracketing bruce in with his thighs as he straddles batman, both of them still in full uniform
– but hal’s back is digging way too hard into the steering wheel and apparently sheer will is not going to let them bang like this, and they need to rearrange themselves on another seat
– but they’re both v desperate and they Make It Work, and hal’s stretched out over bruce’s packed af quads, and bruce’s fingers are digging into The Best Thighs In The Business, and hal’s gonna have imprints for days from those hands and from the batsuit, bc Bruce only took off enough to get in hal
– they were already tired and sweaty and not in Ideal condition, but now they’re a complete mess, and hal’s a dead weight on bruce as they try to catch their breath in between constant sloppy kisses that are v low on technique and mostly still just panting against each other’s mouths
– hey babe, quick question. if I’m riding the batdick in here but we’re not actually going anywhere, can I still say I got a ride in the batmobile? no, stop, this is important, I need those bragging rights—don’t shove me like that, i have literally nowhere to go here, what the fuck, OW—
– they also deserve to fuck on the batmobile, c’mon spooky, that hood is Begging us to
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Red Hood 