look I feel like hal and bruce deserve to fuck in the batmobile
– lantern’s in town to help batman with a case or to discuss some corps business, and he ends up needing to hitch a ride back to the batcave for Plot Reasons™
– i’m gonna have to go with established hb for this, where they’ve just gotten in the car after finishing up at this warehouse. and maybe hal’s been off-planet for a while and just got back and came straight here bc he wanted to give smth to bruce for whatever they’re working on and not have to worry about it later
– except bruce is out on patrol and dealing with some group, so hal just hangs out waiting, lowkey pitching in a bit and mostly just continuously throwing out little comments, because really, bats, was that really necessary, i’m gonna have to give you a 7 on execution there—
– anyways then it’s done, and hal’s been busy for weeks and he’s exhausted so he just follows bruce into the batmobile. hal already sent Bruce the data/etc and he’s just leaning back as bruce shuts the door and settles in, but then Things Happen and hal’s bracketing bruce in with his thighs as he straddles batman, both of them still in full uniform
– but hal’s back is digging way too hard into the steering wheel and apparently sheer will is not going to let them bang like this, and they need to rearrange themselves on another seat
– but they’re both v desperate and they Make It Work, and hal’s stretched out over bruce’s packed af quads, and bruce’s fingers are digging into The Best Thighs In The Business, and hal’s gonna have imprints for days from those hands and from the batsuit, bc Bruce only took off enough to get in hal
– they were already tired and sweaty and not in Ideal condition, but now they’re a complete mess, and hal’s a dead weight on bruce as they try to catch their breath in between constant sloppy kisses that are v low on technique and mostly still just panting against each other’s mouths
– hey babe, quick question. if I’m riding the batdick in here but we’re not actually going anywhere, can I still say I got a ride in the batmobile? no, stop, this is important, I need those bragging rights—don’t shove me like that, i have literally nowhere to go here, what the fuck, OW—
– they also deserve to fuck on the batmobile, c’mon spooky, that hood is Begging us to
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Red Hood 